The Forfeits

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September:  “Wax Roulette”  This Year’s Loser – Cathal!!
The loser of August will be subject to the “Wax Roulette” forfeit. The loser will suffer the shame of losing the first month, and will then undergo a leg wax at the hands of the group (all members will get at least one wax strip each).

October:  “Trick or Treat”
The loser of September will be subject to the “Trick or Treat” forfeit. The group will go on a night out in the first week of October (date is non-negotiable). The group members will choose 1 fancy dress costume each, and the loser must spin the wheel of chance to see which costume they will be forced to wear on the night. No other group members will be dressed up. Obviously – only losers dress up in the first week of October.

November “Movember”
The loser of October will be subject to the “Movember” forfeit. The loser will be forced to grow a specific “Mo” that will be chosen by the group (The loser will be allowed to raise money in the process, good cause and all that).

December “Christmas Spirit”
The bottom two from November will be subject to the “Christmas Spirit” forfeit. The losers will sing Christmas Carols with a charity collection bucket at a Dublin location chosen by the group.

January: “New Year, New Me”
The loser of December will be subject to the “New Year, New Me” forfeit. This refers to the common tradition of New Year’s resolutions. Bottom of the table will receive a New Year’s resolution from the group which they must adhere to strictly.

February “Valentine’s Double Date”
The bottom two losers of January will automatically be subject to the “Valentine’s Double Date” forfeit. In a twist of fate, this time the losers will each choose one other member of the group to be their partner for the month (highest score from the previous month has first pick of partner).

The duos will then enter into a direct head to head, and the group with the lowest accumulated score in the month of February will be subject to May forfeit.

March “Red Ass”
The loser in February will be subject to the “Red Ass” forfeit. On a day in March, the group will play a game of red ass for 1 hour. The loser will be in goal for the entire hour no matter what. No wides, clean catches or non-volley goals can save him. Every 5 goals & a header the group score, will activate Red Ass.

April “Easter Resurrection”
The loser of March will be subject to the “Easter Resurrection” forfeit. The loser will be forced to complete one of the previous forfeits, brought back from the dead, which will be voted on by the group (excluding February).

May “Happy Holidays”
The two losers from the February “Valentine’s Double Date” forfeit, and the overall loser of the league will be subject to the “Happy Holidays” forfeit. This forfeit will take place on the same day as our end of year party.

While the rest of us are in the pub, each of the losers has earned themselves a one-day holiday to a random, and probably not tropical, European (or UK) destination. The losers will each travel to separate locations, departing in the early morning and returning late that evening. The losers will only find out where they are going on the morning of travel when they receive their travel arrangements.

Of course, since we’re sound, we’ll arrange a lovely holiday outfit for the losers to wear (outfits to be decided at a later date by the rest of the group). And don’t worry losers, we’ll be sure to pick something no one else will be wearing when you get there – we know how embarrassing it can be to be dressed identically to another person. See, I told you we are sound.

Obviously, we will arrange some entertainment on the day. Entertainment will be provided in the form of a ten item task list (tasks to be decided at a later date by the group).

This is where the real fun starts, our 3 lucky losers are in a head to head competition for points. And you guessed it, the person with the lowest points total has another forfeit waiting for them.

For every task the loser completes, he will earn 5 points (photo evidence required). And, at the end of the day, each loser has 90 minutes from the time their flight is due to arrive in Dublin to make it back to the pub. For every 10 minutes the loser has left on the clock, he will earn 5 points. For every 10 minutes the loser is late, he will be deducted 5 points.

The loser with the lowest points total upon arrival at the pub, will be subject to shot roulette. Shot roulette consists of 6 shots, and the loser must drink 4 out of the 6 shots at random (shots will be decided later by the group, not necessarily alcoholic, but no body fluids).

Just to really put the boot in, the loser will have to neck a pint out of their shoe too.

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